To see and smell and be inside this body.
It was like a beautiful object, something others enjoyed, a statue, a sculpture.
I used to sculpt this body into a fine slender form,
that is what they said would book me more jobs,
and get me more boys.
Yet now, I am in my body and my body is for me.
My vulva is for me first. We are becoming friends.
I no longer see her as a scary lobsided thing.
A thing whose hunger frightened me.
I look at her as the epitome of my womanhood.
She is wild and free and insatiable.
This process of bringing her to life in this form -
in which I could take her in -
See her, as closely as a lover would, is profoundly healing.
Profoundly vulnerable.
There is no hiding, no trying to make her into something she is not.
She just is.
Holy and Whole and Beautiful."